Jake’s graduation picture from Temple Israel of Hollywood Preschool and my Father’s Day present in 1988. This picture has been on every desk I’ve had for 36 years.
I write this post with a heavy heart; several more will follow as I recover the strength to write them.
As faithful readers know, my oldest son and long-time colleague Jake Seliger had been fighting cancer since late 2022. Jake lost his fight and passed last Wednesday, August 7th, 2024 at 8:30 PM. He’s finally at peace and in a better place. Life is full of hard experiences, but none are harder than a parent losing their child, no matter the child’s age. May Jake’s memory be a blessing (זיכרונו לברכה).
When Jake was ten, the family was visiting friends in Park City, UT. Strolling downtown we came upon a small bookstore, and as is my wont, we went inside. I saw a copy of The Hobbit, which I had read as a teen, and handed it to Jake. He was interested so I bought it, his first adult novel, for him. This set Jake on a path to becoming a big fan of Tolkien, other fantasy authors like Robert Jordan and his Wheel of Time series (I called these collectively “dragon books”), and literature as he matured. Even when he was very sick, if I met Jake at a coffee shop, I’d always find him reading a book, as he always had a couple stashed in his backpack.
As an English student at the Clark University, Jake become a Tolkien scholar and presented a paper on Tolkien at an English conference. Central to the Lord of the Rings mythology is the concept of the Grey Havens; while not actually “heaven,” it is often taken for heaven by LOTR readers, since Gandalf, Frodo, and Bilbo travel there at the end:
“PIPPIN: I didn’t think it would end this way.
GANDALF: End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.
PIPPIN: What? Gandalf? See what?
GANDALF: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
PIPPIN: Well, that isn’t so bad.
GANDALF: No. No, it isn’t.”
Despite describing himself as an agnostic, Jake was Jewish, had a Bar Mitzvah, was active in Hillel at Clark University and UA (albeit mostly for the free food and comradeship), and married a Jewish girl he met at the University of Arizona Hillel. Traditional Judaism affirms an afterlife, usually referred to as Olam Ha-Ba or Gan Eden, which some Jews see as an analogue of Christian heaven, others as an endless cycle of reincarnation, and others as simply waiting for the coming of the Messiah and resurrection. I know Jake is in a better place, whether it be the Grey Havens, Olam Ha-Ba, or some other “undiscovered country,” as contemplated by Hamlet. I believe there is more to our lives than we experience daily and our consciousness does not end with death as our souls are eternal.
I last saw Jake shortly before he passed. He could no longer talk so he used text-to-speech on his MacBook as we said our goodbyes. This was not a time for banalities, so I asked Jake directly if he thought his impending death would be the end. Through his tears,* he said he was at peace and believed that this life is not the end. He said he sees the afterlife as a transfer of the energy that many of us call consciousness or soul.
Jake passed with the kind of grace that inspires those of us who remain. Like Gandalf, he was ready to travel to the Grey Havens. It’s a trip we will all take, but few of us with the understanding of life that comes from the kind of fight to live that Jake experienced. Life is for the living, as is remembering those who we loved.
I will write another post about Jake and literature, but Jake was very fond of Carlos Ruiz Zafón’s The Shadow of the Wind,** the first of a quartet of magical realism novels set in an imagined mid-20th Century Barcelona. So, I will leave you with this Zafón quote: “So long as we are being remembered, we remain alive,” and the wonderful news that Jake’s wife Bess is seven months pregnant with Baby Athena, who will enter this world in October. I will do what I can to help Athena remember the father she will never know through storytelling, these in memoriam posts, and a much longer memoir and meditation I plan to write.
You can read many moving posts that Jake and Bess wrote at these two blogs: The Story’s Story for Jake, and for Bess, Everything is an Emergency. Also, consider making a donation at Jake’s Go Fund Me page; this is no longer for Jake but for Baby Athena. It’s currently ~$192K—let’s take it over $200K.
* I am weeping uncontrollably as I write these words. As happens when I cry or am upset, my 110-pound Golden Retriever, Woolley, immediately came over to lean on me and give me a lick. It’s all he can do, but as us dog lovers know, this is very comforting and more sympathy than many humans can muster.
** Through Jake I also became fond of The Shadow of the Wind and spent 10 days in Barcelona two years ago. I invited Jake, but he never liked to travel and declined—a pity, as I would love to have those memories to pass on to Baby Athena.
20 comments
Kevin Dorsey
I know the pain of losing a son. I just saw this…. Praying for you and yours…..
Patrick Gandy
Bless you and your family. This is a moving tribute to your son and a reminder that we all will travel on after death.
Donna Shelley
I am so very sorry for your loss. My daughter is awaiting a cancer prognosis and will be told today. Perhaps some form of Divine Intervention brought me to your son’s tribute. God bless you and provide you and your family solace in your time of need.
Isaac Seliger
Thank you for your words.
Dr. Jodi Lovejoy
I’m grateful to read your tributary writing. What an inspiration. May God provide adequate strength whilst always lighting your way forward.
Janine Davis
My heart goes out to you, Jake’s dad. I am now 60, and have lived my whole life without my father because he was killed in a tragic car accident when I was but 2 years old. I would have given anything to have someone there, a protector, a leader, a male that would love and protect me unconditionally. Jake was lucky to have you in his life, and receive the love and support from a loving father as you seemed to have been. You are planning on supporting his wife and new daughter that is arriving soon. You are such a bonus to your family! I want you to know. Yes, there are many who are supportive, but not all are like you. As I see it, you both were so blessed to have each other for the short time you were together. I love you for just being you and I don’t even know you. Live is so precious. We have to really hang on to every moment we can, and we ALL need to somehow reach those at the top governing who will get to live and who will die in this world. Our world. War is not mandatory. We do not have to kill innocent people just to have enough room for the next generations. I wanted to say that cancer can be drawn out of our bodies through Sulfur bathe Soaking. I am preparing to try this myself, but I do believe it’s the magic miracle helper. Sulfur will draw out all energies of illness just like a match eliminates the poop odor when we light the match. Sulfur Hot Springs were purchased for private ownership in the past, but it’s still possible to buy it or make it ourselves for our own personal use. Another thing that helps is Bio Beam Healing. No North magnets here. Use North and South magnets to draw the energies of illness out of our bodies to heal. This is somewhat known and should be popular by all means. It’s up to the people to get this healing tools known and maybe we can heal ourselves. These refineries are not as innocent as they say. They are killing all of us, slowly. As long as the bigwigs get their fossle fuels, then they an all go home. But it isn’t without a price that we all pay for dearly. Sir? I’ll pray for your healing.. and comfort through these times. You will be on my mind, and I so consciously will visualize miraculous love and healing to you and yours. Bless you in all you do, and all you get to do with your long awaited for grand daughter. I will tell you, she is going to love the heck out of you, and the world already knows how spoiled she will be from your unconditional love and affection. Sincerely, J.Davis
Isaac Seliger
Thanks so much for your kind words.
Judith Partelow
Your words are so moving and such an honor for your son. I grieve with you, though I’ve never met either one of you, but you’ve brought your own and his life into my consciousness. The power of words cannot be underestimated. I send love and prayers to you and your family.
Isaac Seliger
Hi Judith, thanks for your kind words. As I gather my strength I will be writing additional pieces about Jake. Isaac
Lourdes P. Salinas
Dear Isaac, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I don’t believe parents should see their children go before us; but yet happens all too often. My heart and prayers go out to you and your lovely family. May God console you all.
Robert Nagle
Thanks for sharing. I knew your son only through his blog and occasional emails. (I’ve been following his blog for maybe 10-15 years). i still can’t get over how much blogging he was able to do during that last year of his life.
Isaac Seliger
Hi Robert, thanks for your kind words. Jake fought to maintain normalcy as he fought valiantly against cancer. A lesson for all of us. Isaac
Joan De Klerk
May the please that passes all understanding guard your hearts and minds. May the soul of Jake Rest in Eternal Please.
Sunil Kumar Pathak
Its not easy to lose someone close to heart and brave those trying times. May God give your family strength this irreparable loss.
Peter Nyombi
My heart and soul are with you and family in this trying moment. I pray for comfort, knowing that his memories will reflect his presence in absence.
Juanita
I’m so very sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers for peace and healing of your heart. Thank you for sharing with us. May it comfort you.
ferman
God bless you and your family sir.
Barbara K Puff
Tragic. Prayers for your strength.
Anthony Ezra De Martinez
Mr. Seligman, I read your Memorial Tribute to Your Beloved Son, Jake Seligman, who passed on in August this year. I didn’t know Jake, but reading your authentic “Tribute from Dad”, I felt like I knew Jake personally. Your tribute and memorial to your son is absolutely Beautiful! Please accept My Condolences, as we Hispanos of northern New Mexico say in Spanish, when a Loved One passes on, Mr. Seligman, Siento Mucho y voy a recar por su Hijo Amado y por Usted, que un dia, Para la Eternidad, Estaran Juntos, Jake y Usted, in El Santo Hogar y Reino Del Cielo De Nuestro DIOS TODOPODEROSO, En Santo NOMBRE DE JESUCRISTO, AMEN!!!
I PRAY ALMIGHTY GOD WILL ALWAYS BLESS JAKE, HIS BELOVED WIFE AND BABY DAUGHTER ATHENA AND YOU, MR. SELIGMAN, SHALOM.
Isaac Seliger
Thank you so much for your kind words.